Not ME! Monday!

This let-it-all-out blog carnival was created by MckMama. I love to read her blog and feel more human! But just so you know, I would never have anything to post on a topic like this! Not ME!

If you were watching me make cookies with my two kiddos, you would NEVER hear me say, "wait a second, I gotta put the cocoa in before you lick it- it will taste so much better!" Not me! I would never encourage kids to put their fingers in the bowl.

And my daughter most certainly did NOT fall off of a kitchen chair, while she was NOT standing on it stirring a bowl of cherry-flax-bran muffins. And when she didn't fall, taking the entire glass mixing bowl with her, my first thought was certainly NOT, "I hope she doesn't break my favorite mixing bowl!" Furthermore, as I gathered her up onto my lap and comforted her after she didn't fall, I most certainly did not use my finger to scoop up a big dollop of batter off the cabinet and drop it back into the (not broken) mixing bowl. Not me! I'm WAY too sanitary for that.

I definitely did NOT steal my neighbor's internet connection this morning when mine was mysteriously down for an hour or so. I would never do such a thing! Not ME!

I am NOT leaving my kids with my sister for two nights this week. Even if it is my 10th wedding anniversary on Friday, I would NEVER saddle my sister with that responsibility- she has enough on her plate with her own four kids. And I definitely did NOT buy a wild, wet, crazy yard sprinkler toy and get my kids all pumped up about "sharing it with their cousins" this week. I'd never set my sweet sister up for a house full of 6 wet, dirty kids!

When I caught a squirrel pilfering from my garden, I definitely did not sic my pets, the rodent killing dog and cat, on it. My cat has never brought me (3) dead squirrels, and my dog certainly doesn't kill mice, moles, and voles. We are humane lovers of all creatures here! And I have never heard my 3 year old say "look, another dead animal" while we're enjoying dinner! Not ME!

Finally, I would never sit and laugh and blog while my kids nap instead of packing for my 10th anniversary trip. Not ME!