Who am I?

Who am I?
I am just me. Just Rachel. On my own: never enough, but with God: more than sufficient.

I am a child of God. Not perfect, just forgiven. Not "fixed," but an ever continuing work in progress. I am loved by my heavenly father, not by any accomplishment of my own, but by His unfailing grace and mercy. I am a sinner who stumbles, messes up, and backslides more than I care to admit. But I am washed clean every day, refreshed and renewed at every whisper of His name. I am saved from the depths of despair and set firmly on a rock. The wind blows hard up on this rock, but the strength of my redeemer holds me strong. I lean on Him and I am not moved. I am beautiful in His eyes, strong in His power, and alive forever because of His Son.

I am a wife. I am blessed to share my life with P, an amazing husband and father and friend. I am learning every day to be a better wife, but luckily he's not giving up on me yet. We've been through many ups, downs, and ruts together, and God is constantly working and molding us into the team He designed us to be. This year we will celebrate 10 years of marriage together, and that is just the beginning of our story.

I am a mother. After an unexpected struggle and a lot of lessons about patience, timing, and who is really in control (and He still has to teach me this one over and over sometimes...), I was blessed to spend nearly 4 years of my life either pregnant, nursing, or both. Our precious Brianna entered our lives in July 2005, and her brother Caleb couldn't wait long and made his arrival in August 2006. These two loves fill my days with laughter, joy, frustration, lessons (for me as much as for them!), excitement, worry, passion, fear, and more smiles than I can even count. I am honored to be called their Mom, and I am constantly praying that God will protect them, bless them, and draw them close to Him even when I foul up.

I am a photographer. Well, I like to think of myself as one anyway. I mean "photographer" is defined as: a person who takes a photograph using a camera. I do that. I have never claimed to be a professional photographer- that has an altogether different definition! But I love to capture life with my camera. Life. Through the lens. I think my pictures help me feel, help me better define the moments I have lived by capturing and rekindling the emotion present the moment the shutter released. My camera has helped me adjust my focus more than once, to see life more clearly and to appreciate it more fully.

I am a nurse. I have spent the past 17 years of my life in the profession of Emergency Medicine, from one vantage point or another. I started in the back of an ambulance, spent some time on fire trucks, worked as an ER tech, and then settled in as an ER nurse. I love my job a little bit more than I hate it. I love the ways I get to touch lives. I love making a difference, meeting someone in one of their darkest or scariest moments and having the chance to bring them light. I hate how easy it is to let it harden my heart, how easy it is to let the pain haunt me, how easy it can be to forget the moments of light and lose them in the mundane and frustrating.

I am a teacher. I have always enjoyed showing, teaching, helping. I teach a few professional courses, and have taught others through the years. But now I mostly love teaching my kids. I love using big words and helping them learn all about them. I love showing them how to do things and watching them master a new skill or soar past a milestone. I love watching their little minds blossom and explode with new understanding, new connections, and new confidence.

I am a friend. To the many women: sisters, aunts, cousins, coworkers, colleagues, and commiserators who are gracious enough to claim me. I know that each of them has blessed me more than I could ever hope to repay, and I count myself blessed to have them in my lives.

I am a child of God. And that is what makes it all worthwhile. That is what keeps me going. That is what makes every morning a gift, and every evening worth celebrating. Because for all of the surprises that life can bring- the frustrations, the mistakes, the challenges, the struggles- I can always rest in the certainty that is my salvation. God's grace and mercy is new every morning, and it is enough for me.