Friendship

I was chatting with someone from work yesterday, and the question came up, "what is the friendship attraction between Y and Z." (Obviously, Y and Z stand for two other women we work with.) I couldn't really answer with much other than convenience and proximity. You see these two women are so very different it is hard to understand why they have a friendship such as they do. One is young, newly married, no children, college graduate currently enrolled in graduate studies, loyal, honest, humble... the other is different in almost every way. She's at least 10 years older, no college degree, two kids, married for quite some time, very self-important and self-focused, and will not hesitate to step on you if it saves her hide. Yet these two women are called "friends." It really got me thinking about friendship... the ones I have, the way each differs, and if my frienships are pleasing to God- following according to His design.

I realized that I have several different types of friends. Those who lift me up, those who keep me grounded, those who encourage me, and those I try to encourage. I know that God intended for us to live in community, in fellowship with others, helping each other and sharing burdens together. He wants us to be a loving people, a true community that brings his love to life every day for each other. And in many cases, my friendships do just that. Take A, for example, my dear sweet friend who I had coffee and cheese toast with yesterday. Whenever I get the chance to truly chat with her I realize how blessed I am to have her in my life. She encourages me and lifts my spirits in ways she probably doesn't even realize. We are alike in many ways, and she truly cares about my heart. And I truly care about hers, very much. I can only hope that our friendship of mutual support will continue to blossom in the years ahead. Or my friend B, who I've known for many years. We are different in more ways than we're alike, but we share similar "heart characteristics" if you will, and we've seen each other through many struggles, mistakes, triumphs, and failures. I know our friendship will last, as it has already weathered the tests of time, distance, and heartache. Then there are some co-workers that come to mind. There are a few who I have connected with intellectually that I feel don't have the spiritual connection that I'd love to see them develop. Some are more openly resistant to it than others, but because of our time together at work and our intellectual comraderie I still name them "friends." My desire for these women is to be a witness of Christ's love, so that at the very least a seed of "wow, something is different about her" is planted in their hearts. The danger in these friendships is that I will sacrifice my own high standards and participate in their gossip or less than Christ-like discussions. So far I've managed to realize the downward trend before it becomes an issue, but I realize that I have to be intensely aware of the tone of conversation. Lately I've also added a new group of friends, those who I've already known and appreciated, but I've only recently discovered that they share my faith. As I become more bold and willing to talk about my own beliefs I am learning who shares it and who shuns it. And I'm praying that God will help me grow closer to those who share it, and help me stay strong and bold about sharing it with those who don't yet.

So, my prayer is that I will continue to develop and sustain friendships that are pleasing to God. I know that His design includes sharing life with others, and I pray that I do that in a healthy, beneficial way that glorifies Him and His purpose.