Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! MckMama has this fabulous habit of making me feel more human. So for the first time, I decided to join in the Not Me! Monday! carnival.

First of all, I do not ever have anything to say in this type of carnival. I would never be anything less than a perfect, flawless creature.

So you would completely understand that I definitely did not tell my son yesterday to wait until I had the flour mixed in before licking the cookie dough straight from the bowl. I would not allow him to stick his fingers in there, flour or no flour! And this morning when we arrived at the barn I did not allow my 3 year old to use the port-a-john because I did not forget to make her pee before we left our own home, a mere 10 minutes away. Furthermore I would have never had to go so bad that I couldn’t wait for her to finish, and I did not drop trou and squat over the urinal part of said port-a-john to relieve myself because I would never forget to go at home myself! And since we’re on the topic of her riding lessons, I did not, by any means, compare the “safety knot” used to tie the horse in her stall to the “quick release knot” I had tied two days before to restrain a ventilated patient’s hands. Never! Not me!

After riding lessons I certainly did not allow my kids to have a race down the aisle of the grocery store while using boxes of pasta as maracas. And it certainly was not me who stood in the doorway of the grocery store bathroom with my cart while I did not allow my three year old to use a stall without help or supervision. No way, not me!

I do not think I will start keeping a list of my favorite stories because I have not said out loud, “this belongs on Not Me! Monday” during the week. I would never have stories that would be at all interesting for that sort of thing!