The Appointment

Okay, let's face it. Life has just gotten busy. I know, the kids are still preschoolers. I can hear it now, "just wait until they are teenagers," "you know it is only going to get worse," "you haven't seen anything yet!" But honestly, I'm just feeling busy. I have a lot on my plate, my dear hubby has a ton on his, and the kids are increasingly adding to the weekly schedule. I have found that it is becoming more and more difficult to juggle the collective "family" calendar, and that the one that holds my obligations is looking more and more jam-packed. I have lessons, meetings, classes, gatherings, outings, workdays, appointments, and commitments. But there is one appointment that keeps me sane through the others. And it is the one I've never written down. And the one I'm most likely to skip, unfortunately.

I've only recently gotten really disciplined at keeping this appointment (and by recently I mean in the past few years). And even today I miss it when I've worked a late night or have an early morning. It is my daily appointment with my closet. Well, I guess I should say in my closet, because my clothes are the farthest thing from my mind when I stumble in there around 6:30 am. I'm there to meet my Father, and if I make it there and spend time with Him, everything else about my day seems to go better. It started out with a book that I wanted to study, which led to a series of studies, a year of reading the Bible cover to cover, and many other books, reflections, exercises, and studies along the way. My time with God has become so vital that I feel lost without it. I get irritable, I make poor choices, and I'm more easily influenced by the sin and sway of the world. Starting my day in my closet gets me good and grounded for everything life throws at me for the next 23 hours.

It was so easy to make excuses, to say I didn't have time. And it still is. Sometimes I rationalize that I need the sleep or I can't stay awake enough to focus. But when I honestly look at how much that time changes my day (and my life) I can't afford to go without it. The benefit far outweighs the cost, and I would be stupid to miss that precious investment in my day. And God is pushing on my heart right now. Amidst the busyness, the chaos, the hectic pace I'm keeping, He's telling me I need to give Him more. He's asking for more time, more faithfulness in showing up, more delighting in Him and more purposeful devotions. But how can I manage that? How can I fit it in? How can I survive on even less sleep? Yet I can hear the whisper of His voice, begging me for more, promising me that He will fill the places I can't reach, asking me to give it all back to Him, reassuring me that He will work out the rest. How can I not? How can I go one more day without setting that alarm clock just a little earlier, without starting to look for how He wants my days to begin and following His design? If you pray, pray for me now. Pray for my mornings to be earlier, for my appointments to be deeper, for my coffee to be stronger, and for my faithfulness to endure. For this appointment is the one that can change my life. How can I not show up?